Karma is being a bitch cos I've been a bitch!! Really need to self-reflect on everything I do, how is it affecting the people ard me. I think I have a number of haters, idk haha. Confidence problems again. I just hope people who hates me would get the fuck out of my life so they wouldn't disrupt my life, & vice versa for me too. I like to treat people to how they treat me, a fuckup mindset of mine I guess. I've been a bad boy this whole year I think haha.
Why do I feel so uncertain abt everything!! The only thing I can say loud & proud & right is 1 +1 = 2.
Uncertainties, fuck off!! :@
Oh Blink 182 have some nice emo songs to emo on a bus/mrt ride!!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Ain’t gonna work for life when we know we can dance on
"It’s gonna be real hard, but I’m gonna be okay. As long as I try real hard, I’m always gonna find my way"
Street dance 3D seems like a nice movie!! Need to catch it when its released. This is an awesome song that made me felt better, talk abt good timing, haha. Feeling more cheerful now except for the fact that I sprained my right ankle AGAIN. Hope its just a minor sprain.
Today, I went to redhill for my T-Net cup debut with T-Net@Bedok. I wore the gay-est jersey I've ever had, haha. It was the same colour as the video on top's play/pause/stop bar, AQUA BLUE!! Played against T-Net@Macpherson & saw my 1 of primary school friend!! Even tho we played extremely sloppy & retarded, we won by around 10+ points =.= Score the first 5 points for the team & felt really good cos its like I "set" the tempo for the team. Then I went on playing anyhow, jumping at every opportunity like rebounds/block/alley, finally sprained my ankle. I should've saw it coming from when I started to play very freely haha. Can only say I deserved it.
I'm not going to wear slippers to school cos I don't really like to feel "singled out" Need to buy ankle guard soon!!
I always sprain my right ankle, literally my archilles(?) heel.
I'm going to go for night study every night for this week!! Hope I can catch up with what I've missed out through this whole year. I really need help for chemistry, geog & social studies. Anyone want to give me a hand? ;D
Now I find studying/revising much more "seducing"(can't think of another word, I know definitely have but just can't recall right now =.=) than playing basketball.
Maybe I'm really going crazy, haha. HUNGRY!!
Street dance 3D seems like a nice movie!! Need to catch it when its released. This is an awesome song that made me felt better, talk abt good timing, haha. Feeling more cheerful now except for the fact that I sprained my right ankle AGAIN. Hope its just a minor sprain.
Today, I went to redhill for my T-Net cup debut with T-Net@Bedok. I wore the gay-est jersey I've ever had, haha. It was the same colour as the video on top's play/pause/stop bar, AQUA BLUE!! Played against T-Net@Macpherson & saw my 1 of primary school friend!! Even tho we played extremely sloppy & retarded, we won by around 10+ points =.= Score the first 5 points for the team & felt really good cos its like I "set" the tempo for the team. Then I went on playing anyhow, jumping at every opportunity like rebounds/block/alley, finally sprained my ankle. I should've saw it coming from when I started to play very freely haha. Can only say I deserved it.
I'm not going to wear slippers to school cos I don't really like to feel "singled out" Need to buy ankle guard soon!!
I always sprain my right ankle, literally my archilles(?) heel.
I'm going to go for night study every night for this week!! Hope I can catch up with what I've missed out through this whole year. I really need help for chemistry, geog & social studies. Anyone want to give me a hand? ;D
Now I find studying/revising much more "seducing"(can't think of another word, I know definitely have but just can't recall right now =.=) than playing basketball.
Maybe I'm really going crazy, haha. HUNGRY!!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thoughts, disappointment.
I hate feeling so down, never felt so bad in my life. I think I'm gng crazy, I thought I'm a very rational person, I thought feelings will never ever affect me. I was so wrong; I can't handle stress. Olvls prelim are giving me the jitters, I think I'm over-reacting. I feel so unprepared, fucking loser much ttm. My father have really high hopes on me, I can tell he wants me to be happy but cannot neglect my studies at the same time. I think I'm gng to breakdown anytime soon. I really need to talk to someone, stop venting all these stress on ciggs.
Fuck is wrong with me, 16 years old = fuckup feelings all the time?
Mrbrightside-jk.bs, why aren't you able to take away all the feelings I have right now :'(
I really think I'm going crazy.
Fuck is wrong with me, 16 years old = fuckup feelings all the time?
Mrbrightside-jk.bs, why aren't you able to take away all the feelings I have right now :'(
I really think I'm going crazy.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Emotions
I'm feeling rather emotional recently, like taking every single "joke" seriously, which i obviously know my friends don't mean it. Is it a 16 years old down syndrome or something? :S IDK but i'm in quite a fuckup mood!! I should stop whining, get the fuck out of here & study/do my homework(s). This feeling is indescribable.
Despite all these, i had a really great time with my friends through the weekends!!
WHY am i like this, why can't i be a little more.... SHUT THE FUCK UP JIAKANG
Ranting here doesn't help anymore, probably closing this precious private space of two years that kept me company through my up & downs in life since 2008.
Despite all these, i had a really great time with my friends through the weekends!!
Okay this might sound weird but sometimes, i just feel so left out. I don't get it, why i'm so fuckup.
WHY am i like this, why can't i be a little more.... SHUT THE FUCK UP JIAKANG
Ranting here doesn't help anymore, probably closing this precious private space of two years that kept me company through my up & downs in life since 2008.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
2 more days!!
I'm feeling so eggcited & I want saturday to come asap!! Hmm plans are showing it will be a fun-filled weekend!! Saturday, celebrate @ cindy's house with gen alvin marcus clique. Sunday with bball/recess/breakf clique @ The Sizzler!!
Hmm why do I have mixed feelings abt this once-in-a-lifetime sweet 16th :( I hope all will turn out well cos this will probably the last occasion I'll be able to have fun!!
Had a great heart to heart talk with PH just now when night study was abt to end. Sigh, affairs of the heart seem so tiring & complicated!! I guess I'll never know. I hope he could cheer up, hate seeing my friends upset, but I'm not even able to help one little bit. What kinda fuckup friend am I.
Wish me goodluck, BB!!
Hmm why do I have mixed feelings abt this once-in-a-lifetime sweet 16th :( I hope all will turn out well cos this will probably the last occasion I'll be able to have fun!!
Had a great heart to heart talk with PH just now when night study was abt to end. Sigh, affairs of the heart seem so tiring & complicated!! I guess I'll never know. I hope he could cheer up, hate seeing my friends upset, but I'm not even able to help one little bit. What kinda fuckup friend am I.
Wish me goodluck, BB!!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Absence makes the heart grows fonder, it's true :(
Life has turned around to a brighter side for me :)
I'm feeling happier day as each day past, how i wish this will never stop.
This is gonna be quite a wordy & long post, haha.
I realise the importance of $$money through this short period of unpredictable World Cup 2010, a little through the hard way, a lot more on seeing how somebody loses his mind & couldn't control himself in this very scary thing called, "GAMBLING".
I've lost $200< in this June-July period, which means 2/3 of my monthly allowance, at least I'm able to pay up & control myself not to hit the magic number of $300. I think paying up when I lose $$ in gambling is very important as it reflects alot about myself & also the impression of me to my "creditor". You owe money for too long, you lose the little bit of respect people have for you. C'mon man, no money, don't gamble!! Simple as that. WB should really reflect on what he has done in this short period of barely 1 month's time. Okay to put it nicely, he lost $500<. Fact is he paid up $100> becos $400< are debts which he owe people, he owes me $70. I'm not expecting it anytime soon, or rather, I'm guessing he would only pay me around next year :S
Thats just the the sad part for him financially. Now, many people I know, A.K.A his creditors, looks down on him/disrespects him. To be honest, i'm also one of them who really look down on him right now, i thought these kinda gambling addiction happens only on drama serials. I used to be his friend, now i can't really stand the sight of him. Firstly he owes me money, then his tone when he talks to me is fuckup. Not shy one sia. He actually got the cheek to ask me for more money so he could pay others first, i told him to fuck off.
Seeing the state he is in, here i vow i'll never end up in a similar plight as him. People like TS, MS, BL, RS, YH & so many others who used to be friends w him shares the same sentiments as me. No we're not fair-weather friends, but what he has done is really too much. My friends are of utmost importance to me, I'll never let them see me in the same light as WB. I trust i do not have a single fair-weather friend, every single one of them is important to me.
Kk time to change the subject, its getting too tense cos the more i type, the more i feel WB is the most retarded arsehole on this Earth.
On a lighter note, my father deposited $200 in to my bank account today!! This means more money to spend/I'm finally able to buy my Braun Buffel wallet!! ^^ I've to admit i was really shock/stun when my father told me this morning that he transfer the $$ to my account. Maybe i shouldn't cos i've always known he was a very generous man!! This has always been on my heart but i've never told a single soul before. He ask me every now & then if i have enough money to spend; he gives my grandfather alot of money every month; he always asks me if i want to bring my friends to DTE's Sakura to eat, his treat. He gives me alot of allowance, compared to some of my friends. To tell the truth, he don't have a very high salary. I don't understand how he is able to keep this family together, he must have sacrificed many meals. He works @ ECP/marine cove, we stay in Changi, he cycles to work everyday to save on transport fees. Yet here i am, spending money as though i deserve $$ rightfully. I should really cherish this father of mine, though naggy & unreasonable at times, he is really a great father.
The End!!
I'm feeling happier day as each day past, how i wish this will never stop.
This is gonna be quite a wordy & long post, haha.
I realise the importance of $$money through this short period of unpredictable World Cup 2010, a little through the hard way, a lot more on seeing how somebody loses his mind & couldn't control himself in this very scary thing called, "GAMBLING".
I've lost $200< in this June-July period, which means 2/3 of my monthly allowance, at least I'm able to pay up & control myself not to hit the magic number of $300. I think paying up when I lose $$ in gambling is very important as it reflects alot about myself & also the impression of me to my "creditor". You owe money for too long, you lose the little bit of respect people have for you. C'mon man, no money, don't gamble!! Simple as that. WB should really reflect on what he has done in this short period of barely 1 month's time. Okay to put it nicely, he lost $500<. Fact is he paid up $100> becos $400< are debts which he owe people, he owes me $70. I'm not expecting it anytime soon, or rather, I'm guessing he would only pay me around next year :S
Thats just the the sad part for him financially. Now, many people I know, A.K.A his creditors, looks down on him/disrespects him. To be honest, i'm also one of them who really look down on him right now, i thought these kinda gambling addiction happens only on drama serials. I used to be his friend, now i can't really stand the sight of him. Firstly he owes me money, then his tone when he talks to me is fuckup. Not shy one sia. He actually got the cheek to ask me for more money so he could pay others first, i told him to fuck off.
Seeing the state he is in, here i vow i'll never end up in a similar plight as him. People like TS, MS, BL, RS, YH & so many others who used to be friends w him shares the same sentiments as me. No we're not fair-weather friends, but what he has done is really too much. My friends are of utmost importance to me, I'll never let them see me in the same light as WB. I trust i do not have a single fair-weather friend, every single one of them is important to me.
Kk time to change the subject, its getting too tense cos the more i type, the more i feel WB is the most retarded arsehole on this Earth.
On a lighter note, my father deposited $200 in to my bank account today!! This means more money to spend/I'm finally able to buy my Braun Buffel wallet!! ^^ I've to admit i was really shock/stun when my father told me this morning that he transfer the $$ to my account. Maybe i shouldn't cos i've always known he was a very generous man!! This has always been on my heart but i've never told a single soul before. He ask me every now & then if i have enough money to spend; he gives my grandfather alot of money every month; he always asks me if i want to bring my friends to DTE's Sakura to eat, his treat. He gives me alot of allowance, compared to some of my friends. To tell the truth, he don't have a very high salary. I don't understand how he is able to keep this family together, he must have sacrificed many meals. He works @ ECP/marine cove, we stay in Changi, he cycles to work everyday to save on transport fees. Yet here i am, spending money as though i deserve $$ rightfully. I should really cherish this father of mine, though naggy & unreasonable at times, he is really a great father.
The End!!
Monday, July 12, 2010
His crush tells him about her crush
I hope this won't ever happen to me
I'm feelin' rather down today, overwhelmed w mixed feelings. I hate feeling so wasted & unwanted all the time!! Need to stay positive, steamboat @ cindy's place to celebrate her birthday & mine!! Hope things would pick up by then.
I'm feelin' rather down today, overwhelmed w mixed feelings. I hate feeling so wasted & unwanted all the time!! Need to stay positive, steamboat @ cindy's place to celebrate her birthday & mine!! Hope things would pick up by then.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Like gravity, you're pulling every part of me.
Phew what a busy week, i came home like later than 9pm everyday tho its a school week. Celebrated Kelly's sweet 16th, it'll be my turn this saturday, haha. Excited much!!
I didn't turn my computer on since Monday, but i didn't study since a billion years ago. So nothing to rejoice about!! :(
I want to be smart, rich, attractive. It all links up!! If i'm smart, i would be able to earn lots of money = no more white hair. When i'm rich, i can go for plastic sugery, buy branded clothes like i'm just buying dinner. Nah i probably won't go for plastic sugery even if i have the money, makes me a fake person!
JK, stop dreaming =.=
I didn't turn my computer on since Monday, but i didn't study since a billion years ago. So nothing to rejoice about!! :(
I want to be smart, rich, attractive. It all links up!! If i'm smart, i would be able to earn lots of money = no more white hair. When i'm rich, i can go for plastic sugery, buy branded clothes like i'm just buying dinner. Nah i probably won't go for plastic sugery even if i have the money, makes me a fake person!
JK, stop dreaming =.=
Thursday, July 1, 2010
She's out of my league
This show is damn awesome, fantastic storyline, hot chicks, a little touching. I rate it 10/10, a hard 10 :)
I don't get why in movies all the average joe gets their happily ever after story. I'm an average joe too, where's mine? :(
This show relates to me quite a bit. The inferiority complex I have is immense! Every girl is like a [10] & I'm just another [5]. Why can't I just look better, a little more money, a little smarter, a litter more of everything! Sigh, this is getting too personal but I guess I'll just have to wait till I find a Mrs Right. Mrs Right =/= Mrs Perfect. Mrs Perfect would be good but a Mrs Right would definitely be better. Someone who understands me, cares about me, most imptly, loves me :)
I'll wait a century if I have to.
I don't get why in movies all the average joe gets their happily ever after story. I'm an average joe too, where's mine? :(
This show relates to me quite a bit. The inferiority complex I have is immense! Every girl is like a [10] & I'm just another [5]. Why can't I just look better, a little more money, a little smarter, a litter more of everything! Sigh, this is getting too personal but I guess I'll just have to wait till I find a Mrs Right. Mrs Right =/= Mrs Perfect. Mrs Perfect would be good but a Mrs Right would definitely be better. Someone who understands me, cares about me, most imptly, loves me :)
I'll wait a century if I have to.
Until I reached the point of no return
School days are like the same as holidays for me, sigh.
Shit I've been sighing a lot these days!
Might be going for TP's open house, hope jasper don't pangseh again =.=
I'm always feeling so jealous of everything, fuck life!
Now is the down period of this fucked up journey, hope things pick up soon. Might be watching Toy Story 3 tmr! MIGHT being the operative word here cos PLANS CAN JUST CRASH SO FUCKING EASILY.
Why, why, why, why, why.......WHY?!
Shit I've been sighing a lot these days!
Might be going for TP's open house, hope jasper don't pangseh again =.=
I'm always feeling so jealous of everything, fuck life!
Now is the down period of this fucked up journey, hope things pick up soon. Might be watching Toy Story 3 tmr! MIGHT being the operative word here cos PLANS CAN JUST CRASH SO FUCKING EASILY.
Why, why, why, why, why.......WHY?!
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